I got in a petty argument about how over-rated Jay-Z is and I am going to use this blog as a soap box to argue my petty opinion.

While I never really gave any of Jay-Z's albums more than a couple listens, I still feel comfortable saying he is a sub-par rapper. I do know most of his singles and, truth be told, I do enjoy some songs. But when somebody tells me that he is one of the best rappers it just gives me a pain in the ol' gulliver. A friend with a different opinion than me.... this obviously won't stand. This is why Jay-Z is overrated. (Assume that all videos are Not Safe For Work)


1st Point: This song is fucking atrocious.



"Hey Jay-Z... I got a great idea for a song. How about a song about how many girls you got. Sure its been done countless times but you could put a little twist on it. Like giving different traits to all the girls... Oh that's been done a lot also. Nevermind."

I hated this song when it came out... what a shitty hook. "I LOVE GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS. GIRLS I DO ADORE". Notice he also references Deuce Bigalow which means he watched Deuce Bigalow and was like "That shit is funny... maybe I will reference it in a song". I got some lyrics for you Jay-Z:

"I got this office chick who always 'makin copies'
she calls out Richmister as I insert my floppy
I got this Hot Chick who is really a man
but I still stick my dick in her like Jean Claude Van Damme"


2nd Point: Jay-Z is the Brett Farve/Jay Leno/Michael Jordan of rap.



In 2003, after the black album, Jay-Z strangely decided to retire while he was still on top. I don't know why Jay-Z did this but I do see an obvious reason why one might. Because you love to hear how awesome you are from Mtv, Music Mags, and adoring fans. "How could you do this Jay-Z? The rap game sure won't be the same without you in it."

3 years later Jay-Z would release his comeback album Kingdom Come which sold "680,000 copies in its first week, making it Jay-Z's highest selling album within a one-week period. " It almost seems like retiring is a marketing ploy which brings me to my next point.

3rd Point: Jay-Z is the Gene Simmons of rap.



Jay-Z has been in commercials for Bud Select (above), H.P Computers, Rhapsody, Reebok , and Heineken. He is the founder of Roc-A-Fella Records and the clothing company Rocawear. He is the co-owner of the 40/40 Club (a high class sports bar) and a co-owner The New Jersey Nets. He also has millions of dollars invested in real estate, etc.

So whats wrong with trying to do well for one's self? Nothing I suppose. Making a lot of money has always been synonymous with making thoughtful deep music. Jay-Z marketed himself as an image much like Hannah Montana has done. A harsh unjustified comparison, perhaps; but a comparison none the less.

4th Point: A formula for $ucce$$



Jay-Z was one of the pioneers of the most annoying trends in rap. Thug rapper doing a verse or two while an attractive female sings the hook. There are many variations, for example above is actually a Mariah Carey song featuring Jay-Z but it is the same principal. Jay-Z has been involved with 4 number one hits. Let's see if you can spot a pattern.

1: "Heartbreaker" with Mariah Carey
2: "Crazy in Love" with Beyonce
3: "Umbrella" with Rhianna
4: "Empire State of Mind" with Alicia Keys

If you said every song title uses the vowels 'A' and 'E'. Give yourself a big pat on the back.

5th Point: Jay-Z willingly worked with LinKin ParK



I know what you would like to say "LinKin ParK is a Grammy winning group that has sold more than 50 million records. That many people can't be wrong, can they?" And I would say "SHUT UP WHEN IM TALKING TO YOU..... SHUT UP"

I'm not exactly sure what to attribute Linkin Park's (I'm done with their hip inane capitalization of the letter K) success too. If it was a case of 'right place; right time' or if it was something more diabolical like a pact with the devil which their relatives might have to pay for in a few hundred years.

And this happened during Jay-Z's "retirement". Most people retire and go work as welcomers at Walmart for 15 hours a week. Jay-Z decided to do something much more sad.


6th Point: Google suggests Jay-Z might worship the devil


















7th Point: The Jay-Z/Nas Beef

This is the main reason I don't like Jay-Z. It is totally appropriate for a white man-child from the Midwest to care passionately about an over-hyped New York rap beef. Even though the beef (wow I feel like a cracker even typing that word) was resolved long ago and the two are now buddy-buddy; I still don't like Jay-Z. You can read about it on wikipedia. I'll post the videos. Including one of my favorite songs of all time "Ether".





And the winner:



Noteworthy lyrics include:

"Y'all niggas deal with emotions like bitches. What's sad is I love you 'cause you're my brother, You traded your soul for riches. My child, I've watched you grow up to be famous And now I smile like a proud dad, watching his only son that made it"

and

"Ask me if I'm tryna' kick knowledge. Nah, I'm tryna' kick the shit you need to learn though. That ether, that shit that make your soul burn slow"


In summation, Ladies and gentleman of the jury. Jay-Z isn't a terrible rapper, but does the self-proclaimed King of Hip-Hop really deserve the title? Maybe he is the only one who cares about an arbitrary title, but that doesn't make it right. That doesn't make it right.

:::Mr. Brady slams his briefcase onto the ground making "my point", which is wearing a neck brace, swivel it's head. I lose the case and go home with nothing:::